For the last 30 years, I've thought that my identity and my self were the same thing. They're not. Your identity isn't who you are. It's who you became. It was built in reaction to the world. Your true self shows up when when no one's there to judge her. Now, let's be clear— Merriam-Webster does not agree with me. It defines them as one in the same. But lexicographer Noah Webster and the publisher brothers George and Charles Merriam wrote the first American dictionary in 1828

Last week, my mom told me she was worried about me. Actually, she said, "We're worried about you." There are few phrases that land more heavily in my body than those four words. Expressing concern is a complicated exchange that I'm going to unpack. Adding "we" to the statement tells you a committee of two or more has convened. When someone says, "We're worried about you," what they're often asking—without realizing it—is for you to carry their worry, too. And sometimes, that

Last week, a woman emailed me asking for a refund. She had followed my writing for years on LinkedIn. She told me she loved what I shared there. When I launched my Substack, she became one of my first paying subscribers— a Founding Member. When it was time to renew last week, she wanted to cancel. I refunded her immediately. No convincing. No defending. No explaining. I wished her well. And then I closed my laptop. But I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened. No