Power is not agency.
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Last week, I spoke with a woman who is disrupting an entire industry.
Before founding her current company, she held one of the highest positions inside the existing system.
She earned the title most people spend their entire lives working toward.
She held a position we associate with power.
She reached what many would call the pinnacle of her career.
And then, she left.
She walked away from the infrastructure, resources, recognition and influence of an enormous institution to build something from nothing.
So I asked her why.
She answered with one word:
Agency.
Despite how powerful her position appeared from the outside, there were still multiple layers of people whose approval she needed to make decisions.
She had the title.
She had the responsibility.
She had the influence.
She had what looked like an extraordinary amount of power.
But she didn't have agency.
We often use power and agency interchangeably.
But they don't mean the same thing.
Power is the capacity to influence what could happen.
Agency is the ability to decide what does.
We experience this difference every single day.
People who occupy some of the most powerful positions in the world have remarkably little agency.
The Vice President of the United States can hold the second-highest office in the country—
but still can't set the administration’s agenda without the President's sign-off.
The CEO can be responsible for the performance of an entire company—
but still need the Board’s approval to make its biggest decisions.
The principal can oversee every aspect of an elementary school—
but still need the School Board’s consent to change the policies governing it.
The department head can lead an entire team—
but still need her boss' permission to hire, fire or increase anyone’s pay.
We look at these people and think:
They're powerful.
But we're looking at the title.
We're looking at the role.
We're looking at the responsibility.
We're looking at the proximity to the person who actually gets to decide.
And proximity to power is not the same as having the power to decide.
Because a single question underneath every structure tells us where the agency actually lives:
Who gets to decide?
Who gets to say yes?
Who gets to say no?
Who makes decisions without asking permission?
Who changes the conditions?
Who allocates the resources?
Who has veto right?
Who gets the final word?
That's where the agency lives.
And this distinction matters because women have been given enormous amounts of responsibility without corresponding agency for generations.
We run households—
while our spouse controls the money.
We raise children—
while institutions dictate our lack of support and resources.
We lead companies—
while boards retain the final say.
We create solutions—
while systems continue to create problems.
Responsibility without agency isn't empowerment.
It's entrapment.
It's accountability without control.
It's why so many women have spent their lives trying to become more powerful when what we were actually longing for was more agency.
And often, more agency looks like less power.
Leaving the prestigious job.
Turning down the promotion.
Making less money.
Building a company from nothing.
How many of us are holding onto positions, relationships, identities and structures because they make us look powerful while simultaneously removing our agency to decide?
Maybe the question isn't:
How much power do you have?
Maybe it's:
Where in your life do you have the power to decide?
Because that's where your agency lives.
Remembering where we have the power to decide happens in rooms where we stop performing.
The Fall Gathering for our next HYPE WOMEN Dinner is September 9th.
And if my writing has made you feel seen, I want to make sure I can keep doing it.
xoxo,
Erin
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